Tag Archives: mindset

Change your ‘story’ to change your life

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Your ‘story’ determines the action that you take, or don’t take. Action also refers to your behaviours. We act and behave in a way that’s aligned with our ‘story’.

What do I mean by ‘story’? 

The STORY is the meaning that you’ve given to the events in your past and the events going on now. There are of course facts to the events that have occurred in your life, both past and present, but, the meaning and significance that we give these stories is OUR choice, although we are usually not doing this consciously. How we perceive these events and situations forms our story.

Your state is then determined by what you focus on, the language that you use, and your physiology, and your ‘strategy’ e.g. your behaviour and actions, is determined by your story and state.

Your story and your state form the foundation of your success of failure.

Change your story and you’ll change your life!

There’s usually a story that holds us back from achieving whatever it is we want to achieve. The way we view the world and the beliefs we have about ourselves and what is possible for us, shapes our behaviour. You can choose to change this NOW.

If we shift our story and beliefs to ones that are more positive and empowering we can shift our actions and behaviours into ones that are positive, empowering, and in alignment with our goals.

Let’s say for example you are a women with a fat loss goal. Maybe you’ve wanted to lose weight for years and have tried various diets and strategies but nothing has actually worked, or at least worked for the longterm. Now you are still at a weight and size that you’re unhappy with. You might feel sluggish and down on yourself about it. From here you would have constructed a story (likely subconciously) that losing weight is hard for you, that someone like you isn’t ever going to have the body she wants, it’s just not meant for you.

This is a ‘story’ not fact. But we get so caught up in the story that we believe it to be true and tell it and believe it like it is fact.

Here are some examples of ‘stories’ we might tell ourselves:

  • I have a slow metabolism becomes my metabolism works really well when I fuel it with enough of and the right kinds of foods.
  • I don’t have as much money and time as she does becomes I can achieve the same as anyone else regardless of the amount of time or money I have or don’t have and we all have the same number of hours in the day to work with.
  • I’m naturally heavy my parents always told me that becomes I am capable of being the size and shape I want to be and my past weight story has nothing to do with what’s possible for me.
  • I store fat easily becomes my body burns fat efficiently when I fuel it well and know how to move in a way that works FOR my body not against it.
  • I struggle to lose weight and keep it off becomes I can lose weight now and keep it off forever
  • Being slim and in shape isn’t meant for someone like me becomes I have an amazing body that can be in shape and slim when I have the right beliefs and manage my state to enable me to live in alignment with my body goals.

These ‘stories’ can be re-framed so that your focus can change in order for you to change your life and achieve your long awaited goal – which IS possible for you, trust me.

Tell yourself better stories.

How can you change YOUR stories today?

In every situation or event, both past and present, ask yourself “How else could I see this?” “What is the good in this?”

Ask yourself WHY you believe this to be true? Do you have utter and undeniable proof that it’s the case?

Focus on what’s there versus what’s lacking

What’s good not what’s bad

So today take 10 minutes to sit and ask yourself:

  • What beliefs are holding you back today from achieving your goals and being the person you want to be?
  • What do you new beliefs need to be?
  • How will you ensure you practice those beliefs daily?

Write your answers down and really reflect on them. Today can be the first day of the rest of your life, and I’ve totally got your back :-)

If you want help with this stuff and achieving your ultimate long awaited fat loss and health goals then get in touch with me today. I spend my days helping incredible women just like you, and I love nothing more that helping women see the unshakeable strength, beauty and ability they have within themselves, that they’ve always had, they just didn’t know how to tap into it. You can email me as francesca@flnutrition.co.uk and we can set up a time to speak on the phone about how I can help you move forward.

With love

Francesca

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What do YOU believe is possible?

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One of the biggest things that holds a person back from achieving their goal is their belief about themselves and what is possible for THEM v’s what they believe is only possible for other people.

We all have a ‘story’ that we believe about ourselves and about what is possible for us to achieve, and its this ‘story’ that can make or break your success with any goal.

Let’s say for example that your story is that YOU’RE just not meant to be slim or have the shape you want, and that being in good shape is for other women but not YOU. Or that you would never be able to run your own business and work for yourself, that’s only for other people, who have more of this or less of that etc. etc.

With the wrong story/set of beliefs the action will never get taken, or you might start to take action but soon enough that action will stop. 

People with a fat loss goal are usually looking for the perfect ‘strategy’ or ‘plan’ to follow, that will get them the results they want. But the BIG step they’re missing out here is checking in with themselves on their ‘story’/ set of beliefs about themselves, to make sure the story is an empowering one that will allow them to STICK TO THE PLAN! Simply jumping ahead to the action stage stage without working on your stories will only end up in you falling flat on your face a few weeks or months in to the plan. The key lies in addressing your beliefs/your story, changing that story and ONLY THEN embarking on a plan (of course this does need to be the RIGHT type of plan though!)

So, you first need to become the person you need to be in order to achieve the results you want to achieve. This means changing your identity, because the identity you currently hold isn’t in alignment with what you want for yourself. I had to do this and can firmly say that I have become the person I need to be, in order to FEEL the way I want to feel and be the weight I want to be. It doesn’t happen overnight and it takes a lot of consistent practice but if you REALLY want it you can have it. 

E.g. ‘I want to be slim and in shape and healthy and active…etc.’ – BUT you’re not living a naturally active life, you hate healthy food, you hate exercising, you don’t value or prioritise your sleep and most importantly you don’t believe that being in amazing shape AND maintaining it for life is possible for YOU. 

This person WON’T achieve her weight loss goal and no amount of weight loss plans will fix this.

If you don’t believe something is possible for you then you will subconsciously sabotage yourself along the way to stop it from happening. Your inner self starts to see results and feels uncomfortable with the change that it doesn’t actually believe SHOULD happen for them, so it sabotages your progress to get you back to your old comfortable habits again where it feels safe.

The typical dieting mentality is that results are only temporary and the weight WILL come back but we just keep doing various diets to get rid of it again. That we need to diet again and again throughout life to keep slim. That weight loss (results) should happen fast. That we shouldn’t eat much food and we should exercise loads.

So we subconsciously believe that re-gaining the weight is inevitable and therefore hold ourselves back from trying to achieve it in a slow but SUSTAINABLE way, because we’re programmed to believe that isn’t possible, plus we like to stick with old familiar behaviours. If results are slow we get frustrated and revert back to old habits and say ‘the diet didn’t work’ or ‘I am bad at losing weight and meant to be big’.

“Losing weight is hard for me”

No, weight loss is hard for people who don’t first work on their identity and beliefs BEFORE following the strategy/plan.

What’s YOUR belief about what fat loss really is, and what YOU can achieve? Truly deeply what do you believe? If you don’t truly believe that what you’re going for is possible for you then you won’t get there.

So first work on your beliefs, your story. Create a powerful and vivid vision of yourself and your life as if you have already achieved your goal, and then create a list (about 10) of ‘I Am’ statements and positive affirmations from this vision that you repeat daily, and start to truly believe.

Only then will the right action get taken and the results come.

Who are you when you’ve achieved the goal?

What does your day look like?

What things do you do for fun and relaxation?

How do you behave?

How do you talk about and to yourself?

Who do you spend time with and who do you NOT spend time with?

What’s your emotional state like?

What do you focus on? E.g. are you focusing on what’s lacking v’s what’s you already have are are?

What do you think of yourself and love about yourself?

Write your answers to the above questions in a notebook and then create some powerful ‘I Am’ statements from it, such as:

  • “I am not able to lose weight” becomes “I am fully able to lose weight when I work on what I believe is possible and have the right plan”
  • “I am too old to lose weight and have the body I want” becomes “I am young enough to achieve what I want”
  • “I am not good enough” becomes “I am always good enough”
  • “I am not as good as” becomes “I am as good as”
  • “I am fat” becomes “I am fit and healthy and working towards being even more so”

Etc. etc.

Go forth and change your beliefs and stories to ones that empower you to start living in alignment with your goals…with all the love and support,

Francesca

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